Super Mommin’ It Ain’t Easy but It Doesn’t Have to be Hard!
Mommin’ ain’t easy and whoever said it is…well…I’d love to know their techniques…
I’m a mom of four kids that range from ages 2-10 and every day is both exciting and exhausting. My husband and I own a small construction business and I’ve been on my own personal journey to become a better mom while spreading the word about how awesome all moms are in the face of some pretty deep situations. I’m doing that thru my writing and by creating online spaces for moms of all kinds to come together and be encouraged, encourage others, and laugh at the comical scenes that appear in this thing called motherhood.
It seems I have a lot to juggle and people often make comments about how I must be a super mom and many wonder how in the heck am I pulling this all off?
Welll…like I said, mommin’ ain’t easy and I’m not the first or last mom to pull off so many adventures at once but I’m always eager to give a few tips as to what keeps me sane in the brain every day!
I know there are so many other moms out there Totally Momming It every day and I’d love if you’d drop your tried and true techniques in the comments!
I loved Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.”
I bought the book in the Houston, Texas airport in 2015 while returning from Tony Robbins ‘Unleash the Power Within’ conference. It’s now rabbit eared and the spine is falling apart! That’s just how often I go back to read how to keep the little things from taking over my life.
One of my favorite tidbits from Carlson is his suggestion to ask ourselves…
“Will this matter a year from now?”
While I can influence my children’s behavior and teach them right from wrong-they’re just kids. As I’m not perfect, neither are they.
Inevitably, they will drive me up the wall. Sometimes by punching each other to see who can hit hardest and sometimes by deciding to stack all the DVDs and Xbox games in the shape of a house, over and over again, each time causing a loud crashing noise. Guess which one I choose to worry about. You guessed it – the punching. I don’t want them to get hurt and that could def. cause problems a year from now. The noise…. I can deal with and I’m secretly happy that they’re not pulling my sleeve for something. I could fuss at them about both, but I choose not to. I apply this lesson beyond my mothering, though and that’s why I love that quote all the time.
My hubs and I don’t argue too much really…maybe over silly stuff now and again but not really. It’s because a lot of things we COULD argue about, get thrown out the window because it really will not matter a year from now.
So why even waste the energy and invite the negativity.
Ask yourself that question the next time you’re deciding to fuss with your kids or fuss with anyone for that matter!
One more gem from Carlson…Make peace with imperfection.
I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist. I like things done in very specific ways and I like others to do things exactly as I do them. Bad recipe for a houseful of kids and a hubby who likes things his way, too! Ideally, I have a perfectly clean living room with the little vacuum lines in the carpet. Everything is in its place and each place has a purpose. Apparently, that’s not my reality. Vacuum lines in the carpet are nonexistent in my home. I parent better by making peace with not just my own imperfections but the imperfections that surround me. Yes, I could pout about the Cheerios on the floor and the pile of clothes on the couch. But why??? It’s such an energy zap and it takes me away from my goal of being a happier and saner mom.
In Carlson’s words…
“Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.”
Be present. Be in the moment.
This is easier said than done but it’s so worth it to remind yourself this. In fact, this is one of my mantras in my head when I get that overwhelming feeling that I’ve got a billion things to do while my daughter is telling me about how she needs to get ready for crazy hair day at school. Since I’m thinking about those other billion things, I can’t possibly be really listening to her.
When I get that feeling…when that anxiety creeps up-I just stop doing everything else I’m doing and just be absolutely present. I look at her, in her eyes and follow the conversation. Instantly, my anxiety from the other stuff, tamps down and I can appreciate her and her story. I can appreciate the overall moment. Before I know it, she won’t be talking about crazy hair day. ☹ She’ll be talking about how to wear her hair to prom…Appreciate the moments when you have them!
Breathe and breathe deep.
Do you know how often we unconsciously hold our breaths during the day? Neither do I but it’s definitely more often than we think. When I’m faced with something that is frustrating me, whether it’s flubbed up excel formulas while processing payroll or helping with homework for what feels like wayyyy to long…I take a deep breath.
Did you know this free stress buster can help you instantly reduce tension, find your inner calm, and relax? Breathing and doing so deeply, helps me power thru and find my patience when it feels like it’s getting away from me.
While all the above helps me thru my day, there’s one that I put the most effort into because it is the most important to me and the most important lesson I hope to instill in my children and spread to others.
I look around me and I see not just where I am but where I’ve been sometimes. When being present in the moment fails me, being grateful in it instead works wonders. Being grateful in times of stress is absolutely possible and beneficial.
I started having children at a young age. We struggled to support them and we were so determined to make life better. We lived with our parents on and off. We had to borrow money to make ends meet. Some would say we had to ‘rob Peter to pay Paul.’ My husband and I had to put up with unhealthy work environments and often felt defeated and as though we were standing in one place while everything passed us by.Our greatest fear was failing the little lives we’d brought into this world. Back then, I’d try to be thankful and grateful for what we did have.
We had jobs, no matter how poor the income. We had a loving family that stepped in to support us in our times of need. WE ALWAYS HAD. Now, as entrepreneurs, I’m not saying we have it all, but we have so much more than we’d thought we’d ever have or be able to give our children.
I’m so grateful for the experiences that led us up to these moment.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity for our children to witness the journey.
I’m just so grateful.
And when no method in my formula to super mommin’ it isn’t working being grateful and reflecting puts me back on track every single time. And that my friend’s is how I’m totally mommin it day in and day out. Sprinkle in a knack for speed cleaning and some good meal planning and you’ve got the perfect mix ❤
Like I said before, Mommin’ ain’t easy but we don’t have to make it any harder than what it needs to be. Be kind to yourself, be present in the moment, always be grateful and all will be well.